It's 3 in the morning and you hear a soft whimper in the darkness. You try to be as still as possible. The whimper becomes a moan. You roll over hoping you're just dreaming. Louder now, the moan turns into a howl. Before you know it this screaming song has you fully awake. That's right the person who really runs the house is awake. Your baby! The next day coffee helps for a few hours but you're sluggish for most of the day. As you're pouring your next cup of caffeinated consciousness you remember that passion project you were working on. It seems like it will never get done. You fear parenthood is going to end your creativity. Well, what if I told you it didn't have to be this way. Would you like that? Would you like it if I told you that being a parent isn't going to ruin your creative abilities? Would you want to learn how you can not only still be your incredibly creative self as a parent but that parenthood can also enhance your creativity? As you read this creative guide you'll begin to realize parenthood can be a major boost to your creative super powers! Let me explain.
I come at the topic of creativity from the perspective of a doer rather than an academic or a researcher. I've had two girls in the last two years while coaching college football, raising money for student scholarships, making music, writing a book, and even picking up how to build voice apps and virtual worlds. If that isn't proof enough I'm also writing this blog post two weeks after my second daughter was born. As a creative, I have not only survived as a parent I've thrived. Here's how:
Foot on the Break
Now you are a parent so as much as you love your creative talent your family comes first. Take some time off. Give yourself a mental break and spend time with your family. This is an incredible time in your life. You will never get it back. Take it all in. Also giving yourself this mental break will give your mind space. Often times we hit a wall creatively because we overthink things. If you take a break when you come back your mind will be swimming with new ideas because you've given it the space to rest.
Systems Loading
When you’re ready to start working on your craft again come up with a system. One of the big advantages of taking some time off is you'll get used to your baby and your new family's patterns. Does your baby take a consistent 1 pm nap? Maybe have your coffee later in the morning and get started on brainstorming as you lay the baby down for sleep. Does your baby go to bed early in the evening and wake up later at night? Maybe you can find some space for quiet meditation as you rock the baby to sleep and ready your mind to come up with some ideas for a new project. Once you know your baby's patterns you can plan around them.
Mind and Space
Speaking of meditation, having kids isn't the quietest activity in the world but being mindful is key to creativity. If you don’t meditate as a creative you’re really missing out on a great way to keep your mind sharp and fluid. You've got to find creative ways to get in your meditation sessions. A great way to do this if you can't find a quiet space is to go on a walk with your new baby and take in all the sensations around you. Notice the cool breeze, the sun on your skin, the sound of chirping birds, or in my case the sounds of airplanes and honking cars off in the distance. Simple acts of mindfulness like this are like hydration for your brain. Find ways to give your head this space. Your creativity will thank you for this later.
Force is the Weapon of the Weak
Sticking a square peg into a round hole is never a winning strategy. If you try to come up with production targets and goals your work will suffer. You can't force someone to fall in love with you and you can’t force yourself to fall in love with your project especially if it's crap because you're forcing yourself to do it. Creativity is a process, not a science. Much like giving yourself a break, patience and even procrastination can help you improve the quality of your work because you're giving yourself more time and space to create.
A-musing
My last and favorite way to get creative as a parent is to get your baby involved in a project! When my first daughter was 6 months old she went through a period of sleep regression so my wife, who is from California, and I had a joke. We would say she slept on West Coast Time. We started to sing to her when she would wake up at night "you just wanna party on West Coast time". As a musician and storyteller, it made me start imagining her older someday partying on the West Coast. I wrote a story about her in the future and turned it into one of my favorite songs of all time, West Coast Time. Also as a football coach during breakfast, I always break down a play or blitz of the day for her. She has no clue what I'm talking about but it's fun for her to see the lines and colors and some days I come up with a new wrinkle for a play! There are tons of ways your kids will give you ideas and the best part about it is you can make your child be part of your work in a way that will live forever.
So rest assured my creative friend. Your kids will not stunt your creative growth. There are tons of ways that you can make room for your creative efforts in your new family structure that will fulfill your creative desires while enriching the lives of your children! For more tips on how I like to build create and explore the limits of my creative powers feel free to subscribe to my blog where I will spill all the beans and share my secret sauce!
